Secrets to Unshakeable Confidence (1)

I have always believed that being confident is a defining factor between success and failure. In this series on Confidence I will be showing you how to get the high-performance payoff that gives you an edge in life.

Imagine two people of equal skill applying for a job. Would you pick the person who is less confident? Ever?

Quite simply, a positive sense of self can transform your life. Rosabeth Moss Kanter, PhD and author of the bestselling book Confidence: How Winning Streaks and Losing Streaks Begin and End, has honed the definition down to its essence: “Confidence is the expectation of a positive outcome,” says Kanter. A professor at Harvard Business School, Kanter helps translate textbook concepts about success and attitude into practical results. “The fact is,” she says, “confidence makes you willing to try harder and attracts the kind of support from others that makes ‘winning’ possible.” In marriage, it makes you more capable of hearing the feelings and criticisms your partner really needs you to hear. In the business world, confidence bridges the chasm between the person who’ll ask for and receive a raise, and the employee who accepts the status quo; between the salesperson who gets bummed out by rejection and stops cold-calling, and the one who forges ahead and scores the mega sale. If, like most people, your confidence could use a boost, here are strategies on how to develop it quickly—and keep it working for you the rest of your life

1 The toes and shoulders test
Remember how Eliza Doolittle was transformed from a lowly flower seller into a confident grande dame in My Fair Lady? In the 1960s, Harvard researcher Robert Rosenthal studied how you can make people succeed simply by labeling them “successful.” Students were randomly assigned to two groups, “high-potentials” and “low-potentials.” Those singled out as more successful … were. Even a hint of praise or scorn can affect our performance. A recent study, published in Perceptual and Motor Skills, demonstrated how powerful a few words can be. Forty competitive tennis players were shown digital images of balls coming their way. Just before each ball appeared, the players saw or heard comments like “Good shot” or “Bad shot.” The reaction times of players hearing negative remarks were measurably slower.
And these were athletes who trained frequently to play a consistent game and not make unforced errors. What’s the explanation? Negative feedback undermines anyone’s belief in his or her ability to succeed. But if you can hold on to a winning attitude, you’ll make a greater effort and also create positive momentum. Confident people inspire others; opportunities seem to come their way more often.
They become magnets for success. At the most basic level of daily activity, confidence shows itself in body language, demeanor and in one’s surroundings. Chris Wallace, general manager of the Boston Celtics, used the “toes and shoulders test” to see if pro basketball players were likely to win. He looked at whether players were sticking close to the ground or were up on their toes; whether their shoulders were sagging or they were standing tall—all to determine if they were really fully focused on the game. Your body language and attitude send signals. Often the first thing Kanter suggests executives do to boost morale in a business that’s failing is to refurbish the workplace. It’s one more way of labeling yourself successful. Harvard Business School, where Kanter teaches, is not beautiful by accident: “The surroundings inspire people to live up to high standards,” she says. “And don’t assume that treating yourself to a good haircut or a stylish suit is frivolous, either,” Kanter adds. “You don’t do those things to dazzle someone, but to build confidence in advance of victory. To Be Contd